Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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