All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm passing your future prison.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize