I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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