A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
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Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
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This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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