How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just threw up on my dentist
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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