He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize