never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
