These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
