She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
