yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
