i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She even gives head with a lisp.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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