hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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