someone get that fucking seahorse.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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