If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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