His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
