Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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