I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
