I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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