Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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