so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
