That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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