I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
