Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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