i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
