I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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