Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
