Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
