Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
