come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
