the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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