So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
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U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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