Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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