Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize