I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
