OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
