I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
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Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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