those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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