just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
