I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
