Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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