He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
