i barfeds in our rink
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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