let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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