Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
