ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
