everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
