Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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