just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
