his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
