3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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