he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
