sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
