The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
