The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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