Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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