Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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