He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
