He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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