1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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