so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
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