I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Drunk is a universal language darling
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
