Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We are all done wearing pants today
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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