There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i came on her dog
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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