Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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