Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
