i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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