I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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