you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
