whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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