Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
