Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
